Ben
Thu May 04, 2006, 04:47 AM
The Herberts were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a
surrogate father to start their family.
On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Herbert kissed his wife
and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon".
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. Good morning madam. I've come
to...." "Oh, no need to explain. Come in," Mrs. Herbert cut in.
Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! My specialty is babies.
" That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a
seat." After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
Photographer - "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the
bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the
living room floor is fun too. You can really spread out!" Wife - "Bathtub,
couch, bed, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for my husband and me."
Photographer - "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one
every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six
or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
Wife - "My, my, that's a lot of...."
Photographer - "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time.
I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed
with that, I'm sure."
Wife (muttering)- "Don't I know it."
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of
his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus."
Wife - "Oh my god!"
Photographer - "And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when
you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
Wife - "She was difficult?"
Photographer - "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the
park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and
five deep, pushing to get a good look."
Wife - "Four and five deep?" (eyes wide in amazement).
Photographer - "Yes, and for more than three hours, too. The mother
was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate!
Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the
squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
Wife (leaning forward) - "You mean they actually chewed on your...
equipment?"
Photographer - "That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set
up my tripod so that we can get to work"
Wife - "Tripod?"
Photographer - "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on.
It's much too big for me to hold very long!"
Mrs. Herbert fainted....
surrogate father to start their family.
On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Herbert kissed his wife
and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon".
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. Good morning madam. I've come
to...." "Oh, no need to explain. Come in," Mrs. Herbert cut in.
Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! My specialty is babies.
" That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a
seat." After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
Photographer - "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the
bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the
living room floor is fun too. You can really spread out!" Wife - "Bathtub,
couch, bed, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for my husband and me."
Photographer - "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one
every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six
or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
Wife - "My, my, that's a lot of...."
Photographer - "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time.
I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed
with that, I'm sure."
Wife (muttering)- "Don't I know it."
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of
his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus."
Wife - "Oh my god!"
Photographer - "And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when
you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
Wife - "She was difficult?"
Photographer - "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the
park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and
five deep, pushing to get a good look."
Wife - "Four and five deep?" (eyes wide in amazement).
Photographer - "Yes, and for more than three hours, too. The mother
was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate!
Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the
squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
Wife (leaning forward) - "You mean they actually chewed on your...
equipment?"
Photographer - "That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set
up my tripod so that we can get to work"
Wife - "Tripod?"
Photographer - "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on.
It's much too big for me to hold very long!"
Mrs. Herbert fainted....