marg
Tue Feb 14, 2006, 10:34 AM
The Ant & the Grasshopper
CLASSIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
THE END
THE AUSTRALIAN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. So far, so good, eh?
The shivering grasshopper calls a media conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like him, are cold and starving. The ABC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home in Lakemba with a table laden with food.
Australians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty. The Democrats Party, the Respect Party, the Transvestites With Starving Babies Party and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's house.
The ABC, interrupting an Rastafarian cultural festival special from the Opera House with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome." Natasha The Spot Destroyer laments in an interview with Four Corners that the ant has got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share". In response, the NSW Labour Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers.
Without enough money to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is seized by the Government and rezoned as a refuge. The ant moves to Tamworth, and starts a successful Agribiz company funded by a grant from the Howard Government following secret representations from John Anderson. The ABC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant's food, though spring is still months away, while the refuge he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.
Inadequate government funding is blamed, and Sir Lawrence Street is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000.
The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the media blames it on the obvious failure of government to address the causes of despair arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders who are praised by the government for enriching Australia's multicultural diversity. They promptly set up a hydroponic marijuana growing operation and start terrorising the hard working ants of the eastern suburbs.
THE END
:lol: :lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol:
CLASSIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
THE END
THE AUSTRALIAN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. So far, so good, eh?
The shivering grasshopper calls a media conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like him, are cold and starving. The ABC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home in Lakemba with a table laden with food.
Australians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty. The Democrats Party, the Respect Party, the Transvestites With Starving Babies Party and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's house.
The ABC, interrupting an Rastafarian cultural festival special from the Opera House with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome." Natasha The Spot Destroyer laments in an interview with Four Corners that the ant has got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share". In response, the NSW Labour Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers.
Without enough money to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is seized by the Government and rezoned as a refuge. The ant moves to Tamworth, and starts a successful Agribiz company funded by a grant from the Howard Government following secret representations from John Anderson. The ABC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant's food, though spring is still months away, while the refuge he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.
Inadequate government funding is blamed, and Sir Lawrence Street is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000.
The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the media blames it on the obvious failure of government to address the causes of despair arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders who are praised by the government for enriching Australia's multicultural diversity. They promptly set up a hydroponic marijuana growing operation and start terrorising the hard working ants of the eastern suburbs.
THE END
:lol: :lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol: