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chrissyoscar
Fri Aug 19, 2005, 10:11 AM
The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were 3 finalists. Two men and a woman.
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!
The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow.
"This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

MORAL of the story: Women are evil. Don't mess with them ?Pass on this advice !!

mcloughlin2
Fri Aug 19, 2005, 10:36 AM
:lol: ROTFIFOL !! :lol:

Only a women would do that...

*Runs and hides* :oops:

Merrilyn
Fri Aug 19, 2005, 12:52 PM
Owwww that is so mean.

But so true.

ROFLMAO :P

kalebjarrod
Fri Aug 19, 2005, 10:52 PM
Thats funny

how this one, its long so i'll have to mae it briefer

" Me and my wife after a lovley canddlelit dinner proceded with what come natural, a little bit of petting and cuddleing and i picked up my wife and acrried her to the bedroom,

afet some more cuddling and some long and hot kissing my wife sundenly turned to me and sadi " Stop"

i was shocked, " Whats wrong, Whats wrong" i said in a puffed voice

i was rather hot and bothered by this stage, once more i said "whats wrong"

my wife said " I just want you to hold me"

I was shocked

"WHAT?"

My wife gazzed into my eyes and longing said " Your not in harmony with my emotonal needs as a women for me to be able to in harmony with your needs as a man"

i was shocked, but needless to say i didn't get any.

anyway the next day i thought i would forget the night before and do something again with my wife

so we went out for coffee, had some lunch then went and broswed through DJs

while brossing my wife decided to try on a dress, it looked great on her so i said"throw it in, i'll get that for you"

she was alittle bit excited, and we continued shopping

we passed some shoes and sure enough there was a pair that went beautifully with the new dress, "grab them too" i said

we went pass and found some earrings and a watch and a handbag

my wife was in awe

she had a smile from one side of her face to the other

she held me and kissed me in the shop

it was great

so we headed to the chec out

when we got there she palced all the items she wanted on the checkout and the attendant ased me how i wanted to pay for them

"pay for them?" i said

my wife turned to me with a strange look and i simple said

" No no no honey, i just want you to hold them"

"WHAT?"

i just looked longing into my wifes eyes and siad

" Your not in harmony with my finacial needs as a man for me to be able to in harmony with your needs as a woman"


ohhhhh well

looks like i ani't getting any tonight either"

Littlefish
Sat Aug 20, 2005, 06:50 AM
Hur hur! Yeh, too true! I know...

I've got a headache! It's too hot! It's too cold! I don't feel well! I'm too tired! I'm too stressed!

I've tried all those excuses and she still won't leave me alone!!

Fred :?

chrissyoscar
Sat Aug 20, 2005, 10:57 PM
Great joke Ryan.

Good to see a joke that has the guy getting even.

Oscar

kalebjarrod
Sun Aug 21, 2005, 06:08 AM
Glad i could be of assistance :wink:

Fishpimpin73
Sun Aug 21, 2005, 04:14 PM
OH NO!!!

KJ KILLED ANOTHER SPELLCHECK PROGGIE :cry:

That is the third one this year...........

kalebjarrod
Mon Aug 22, 2005, 08:45 AM
Pimpman

i can't speel

you should know that

i am dishlexick

and i have a form grasp of gooda english :wink: