tennhound
Sat Jul 02, 2005, 11:20 PM
Gabriel and the Southerners
Gabriel came to the Lord and said "I have to
talk to you. We have some Southerners up here who are causing problems.
They're swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, barbecue sauce
is all over their robes, their dogs are riding in the chariots, and
they're wearing baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of their halos.
They refuse to keep the stairway to heaven clean. There are watermelon
seeds and pig feet bones all over the place. Some of them are walking
around with just one wing."
The Lord said, "Southerners are southerners,
Gabriel. Heaven is Home to all my children. If you want to know about
real problems, call the Devil."
The Devil answered the phone, "Hello? Hold on a
minute. "
The Devil returned to the phone, "O.K., I'm
back. What can I do for you?"
Gabriel replied, "I just want to know what kind
of problems you're having down there."
The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check
on something."
After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the
phone and said, "I'm back. Now what was the question?"
Gabriel said, "What kind of problems are you
having down there?"
The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe
this....Hold on."
This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes. The
Devil returned and said, "I'm sorry, Gabriel, I can't talk right now.
Those Southerners have put out the fire and are trying to install air
conditioning."
Gabriel came to the Lord and said "I have to
talk to you. We have some Southerners up here who are causing problems.
They're swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, barbecue sauce
is all over their robes, their dogs are riding in the chariots, and
they're wearing baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of their halos.
They refuse to keep the stairway to heaven clean. There are watermelon
seeds and pig feet bones all over the place. Some of them are walking
around with just one wing."
The Lord said, "Southerners are southerners,
Gabriel. Heaven is Home to all my children. If you want to know about
real problems, call the Devil."
The Devil answered the phone, "Hello? Hold on a
minute. "
The Devil returned to the phone, "O.K., I'm
back. What can I do for you?"
Gabriel replied, "I just want to know what kind
of problems you're having down there."
The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check
on something."
After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the
phone and said, "I'm back. Now what was the question?"
Gabriel said, "What kind of problems are you
having down there?"
The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe
this....Hold on."
This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes. The
Devil returned and said, "I'm sorry, Gabriel, I can't talk right now.
Those Southerners have put out the fire and are trying to install air
conditioning."